Setting Your Relationship Goals
Have you ever sat down with your partner and truly discussed what you both want out of a relationship in the long haul? Have you had those “hard talks” where you are totally open and transparent with each other? {And no, I’m not just talking about deciding who is going to be doing the dishes and who gets stuck with the laundry}. I mean the talks where you share your fears, desires, and yes.. your goals!
If not, I definitely encourage you to do so! This can ensure you to both get what you want and truly need out of your relationship.
Finding your “Type”
There are different types of people you meet in the world. Not everybody is designed to fit YOUR mold.
But there is just that one person, who can run a finger down the index of who you really are, who is not afraid to admit that you inspire them the most, and to truly be there for you when you need them the most. When you find that person, the one who doesn’t just skim over your chapters, but deep dives into your entire table of contents, your life will change. I think failed relationships in the past have prevented a lot of men and women from truly opening up again. As a result of this, you guard the truest parts of yourself, and sometimes miss the chance to be with “The One”. As hard as it is opening up again and being vulnerable, it’s even harder going through life not finding that person who you connect with on a mental, physical, and emotional level! I always say this, and I always mean it…never, ever settle!
It’s Okay to Challenge Each Other
In fact, I encourage it. My husband and I do actually challenge each other, and often. But it always seems to be in a good way. He never refuses to let me follow my dreams and what matters to me. I am a better version of myself by knowing that we can work on ourselves but still love and support the other doing so. I respect his loyalty and his transparency. If you cannot challenge your partner, and let them know that you see more potential in them, then you will have many arguments down the road. Not all challenges are negative. I find myself challenging my husband on topics that we are both very interested in! I love hearing his point of view, and learning something I might not have known! If you find your partner constantly getting angry when you try to respectfully challenge them, sit them down, and find out if they are insecure about that specific topic. Consider if they have had a failed relationship in the past where they were constantly brought down. If so, try and work through that insecurity, together.
The Golden Rule
We’ve heard it since we were literally 4 and 5 years old. And it means more now than ever! I am pretty sure nobody enjoys being talked to in a disrespectful and hurtful manners so don’t do it to your spouse. Yes you will have small moments where you are snappy, and honestly, maybe everything that comes out of your mouth may sound negative. One important thing to remember about those small moments, is they are usually accompanied by a long, stressful day outside of your marriage/relationship, and can easily be forgiven. You can hardly ever take back what comes out, just remember that!
As a wife, I truly believe you have the power to tear your husband down, or build him up… And what greater feeling in the world is there than to use that power you have to make your husband shine. My happiest moments aren’t when Nelson buys me things, or takes me places, but moments that are just random. When he’s passing me in the hall and grabs my hand and squeezes it, or he says, “What can I help you with today baby”, or when I see him making a conscious effort to remember something I said I would like done! In those moments, he shines, so we shine.
I’m irrational at times, moody, and don’t give 100% on some days… But I still hear “you’re such a good wife to me,” and it makes me want to be! I’ve learned forgiveness and grace through my husband, how to be an expert snuggler, how to be a better listener!
My Thoughts On The Honeymoon Stage
This is always a controversial topic amongst couples. Some say, no matter what, love and the desire dies down after whats called “The Honeymoon Stage.”
Here’s what I have to say about this!
Who gets to dictate how long the honeymoon stage is, and when, or IF, it should end? A lot of people often categorize the “Honeymoon Stage” as constant affection, being “lovey dovey” and overly nice. UM, hello!!!! We should be making a conscious effort to be doing that every moment!! Right here, right now, these are the moments that count in our lives! Tomorrow can be BETTER, more amazing than yesterday was, if you make it!
Funny story about my honeymoon! We got married in Memphis, Tennessee, surrounded my the best family in the world! For our honeymoon, we got real classy… we hit up Beale Street and karaoke’d all night long! And it was a literal blast!!!!
I still have fond memories when Bon Jovi’s “Living On A Prayer” comes on the radio!
I’d like to leave you with this! One way we can carry out our relationship goals with our partners is by just seizing the opportunities to show up for your person, 1,000 percent, everyday. Show up for them when they need you! You’ll never regret giving more love!
I’d love to hear some funny/sweet stories about your own honeymoon! Feel free to share a comment with me below!!
